Having It All: What Not To Do!

Having It All : What Not To Do!

I am working on this notion of having it all. Now, you have to know that currently it is working nicely but I am on a flex maternity schedule while getting paid and so of course I feel like this is a piece of cake. I recognize this and so I am reading any and everything I can to prepare me for this mission successful…for me being super suburbia momma.

I found an article that said the way to keep a simplified life was to prioritize and not live by a “To Do List”. Instead this article said to be sure you stay away from the things on your “Not To Do List”. I have been thinking about this not to do list and what would mine look like? I have also been thinking about how this not to do list would evolve over the years…don’t take that candy from the counter or your mom will humiliate you, do not lie about having matches hidden behind your back, do not hang your sister’s dolls from the rails, do not dare your cousin to poop in her front yard and run around naked, do not tell Sally what Mary just said not to tell her, do not tell Maxie that her hair looks great and then tell Annie how bad it is, do not call back Sally’s boyfriend, do not take your parents car out without a license or do not get in the car with Sam because he just shot gunned a 12 pack and walked into the tree, do not smoke that cigarette or that um, or do not yourself enter the 12 pack shot gunning contest because you just talked trash to the entire male population or how about do not talk trash and do not let your ego tell your mouth to challenge that girl or guy to a drinking contest, car race, bike face, power smoke…or do not call that guy for the 12^th time or do not follow him home from the bar to just see where he lives, or do not pull that bamboo stick out of the neighbors yard after being up all night and sticking it through both sides of your back windows because you think it will look cool in your apartment. Adolescence through College just covered…

Hmmm…now what…what do these things have in common? Why avoid these? They all leave you with regret and overall bad feelings. They are all fleeting feelings of power, judgment, lust, excitement…fleeting and distracting from the important things that should be a priority and like the not do not list, the to do list evolves as well. Things like studying for a test, keeping secrets, being a good listener, a good friend, a good person, being safe, a good child, no stealing, lying, cheating…those should be priorities…when you are young. Trust, honesty, love…but wait these should be a priority at all times. Ok well, these are deep things, I want to focus on the not so deep and assume that we all work hard to be those things.

So, my not to do list as an adult…do not yell at my kids because I had a bad day, do not tell my husband that he is XYZ bad thing, just because he greets me with a smile in the morning, do not waste any time at work doing anything that is not focused on the three things I am accomplishing that week…NOTHING, do not gossip with anyone ever period, do not let people unload on me whom I do not deeply care about, (quick side bar is that random people I don’t know just like to tell me things and even people I do know will tell me deeply, personal things that I never ask to know and it ALWAYS gets me in trouble), so for me, do not listen to anything that does not effect me or is something that I cannot possible help with, do not blow people off…if I cannot attend just say no, do not stay at work any later then necessary to accomplish work, do not participate in negative conversations or spend time with negative people, do not talk about what cannot be done, do not text message and drive down the highway, do not talk over people, do not interrupt, do not turn on the TV until the kids are in bed and all my writing is complete, do not clean the house during my time with the children, really, do not clean the house, do not blow off having sex, do not hang up or leave the house mad at anyone…

OK, well, this is crazy and well, this is my brainstorming blog, I am going to have to put some more thought into this because, the truth is, shit, creating a not to do list is going to be difficult. Well, difficult to pare down. I am going to track the things I do that get in the way of me having it all and create my not to do list over the next couple of weeks.

I will keep you posted…

E