Friday, November 20, 2009

Twilight The First Movie

Twilight: The Movie...this was written last year after I discovered the movie so I felt it fitting since New Moon as premiered! I am seeing it tomorrow...until Monday.

I officially see why there is an obsession. I was sure that since I had read the series that I would not long for movie number two. Um, WRONG! I can’t take it and to be perfectly honest, these people need to just go into production and knock the remaining three out. It is a must.

I met a close friend for the movie…Another crazed fan, although she is only half-way through Eclipse. I am jealous of what she still has left to read, discover and feel.

We met, our very own indulgent girls night. I got nachos and a soda and she got some Twizzlers. We found our seat in the middle of the theater. We were not surrounded by giggling teenagers oh no, no, no; we were surrounded with other thirty and forty year old women. Some were seated alone and some grouped together, making small talk, trying to cover up their pure joy in being there to see this movie. I know because I had nothing but sheer excitement pulsing through my vein in anticipation of what I was about to see. I just kept telling her over and over that I was so excited that I could hardly take it. Yes, I was the giggling teenager with the only thing missing being my braces.

The movie was campy and I did agree with the critics, that if you did not read the books you may not have liked it as much. I say may because I just don’t know how any female could not have felt themselves sweat or near puking with anticipation during their hot “stay real still” so I can kiss you with out killing you scene. I mean WHAT?

The best part was seeing the characters verses what I had pictured. Edward blew me away…there are not words for how I would have just attacked him. But then his dad rolls on the scene and me and my girlfriend were like, shit he’s hot too and so is Jasper. We were like crazed, starved people. But starved of what? What is it about these books, this movie, and this story that rips your stomach into knots and makes you wish you could go back in time? At one point I thought to myself that if given the chance to go back, I would just be a serial dater. I would be someone who just fell in love and then when it got to the tip of routine just bail out and start all over again.

It was longer than I had expected and satisfying…at times I wished I were there alone, almost embarrassed by the feelings evoked. When the lights came up all the women got up as if caught in some act. We did not speak nor even look at each other. Everyone just walked out, excited to get into their cars, alone with their own thoughts and desires.

Going to see it again-E

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Bloody Addictions

Bloody Twilight Addictions...I had to repost this from last year...it world wide obsession has grown and so when I re-read the below I feel much comfort in knowing that I am so so not the only crazy out there! HAHA

So, I spent this weekend reading the third book and half of the final book, in the deliciously wrong Twilight series. I am addicted to this craziness. And it is so funny because I keep waiting for these characters to have mad sex and then it hit me, I mean this is for young readers and ya know, would I want my kids reading this, even as teenagers? I mean what are all the 15 year olds thinking, if I am thinking what I am thinking? Does that make sense? Even, if they are mystical creatures. I must be having a mid-life crisis. I feel like calling this writer up and being like hey there, can you put out the rated X or R version for us 30 year old women out here…those of us sheepishly roaming through the young adult reader section of Barnes and Noble pretending to buy the box set for our “niece”.

My eyes actually hurt from reading the 2000 pages over last week. It has been an amazing escape. My sister-in-law told my sister, to tell me, to back off, that the character; Edward was hers as well as all the images of him in my mind!!

That is hilarious! I mean, how many women like me and Jennifer are hiding in their bedrooms late at night lusting after werewolves and bloodsuckers while our young children sleep in their rooms and our husband snore by our sides? Are we that devoid of romance? I mean as a group? I suspect so. I suspect that many women, in a relationship or not, so passionately long for the kind of desire that the two main male characters have for their girl. I mean who doesn’t want to be basically worshipped, adored, protected and not allowed to have something they desperately want? Um, all of us!

This story has brought up many conversations about why this book is so appealing to mother and daughter alike. The truth is we (women) all long for that first kiss, the first time we realize some one loves all the strange things about us, the first time you hear you are loved, the first looks of lust and passion, the first flirt, mix CD or late at night text that makes your stomach drop, your heart pound and your face blush…the firsts. I guess that is why they are called firsts…you only get them once. And this series is one long drawn out firsts experience and it is so worth the 90 hours of your life.

So, I have Googled every bit of information on the first movie and I have not yet seen it. I have asked my husband if he minded if I just went by myself and left him with the kids. I mean he did fly to Boston and got to see the Celtics play…well he was on business but he still saw the game. Is this too much to ask…A small indulgence of my bloody addiction?

Have a great week and if you haven’t read any of the series, well, the truth is I am JEALOUS of your first to come…the first page you read.

E

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

YA Novels

I am an addict or plain insane...lets see I do know that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again...or I think I know that?

Why? Well, I just finished reading my latest YA (Young Adult) novel from the "Blue Bloods" series! Yes, it is called Revelations...and I never like to talk badly about anyone's writing bc its not bad...at all obviously I have read the first four books. It is more not my cup of tea topic. It is Vampire and the story line is different then the other ten supernatural books I have read.

I just am not a fan of more teenage superrich stories...this is like Paris Hilton and the heirs to Johnson and Johnson flitting around NYC. It annoys me. I am reading and reading and I am like SHUT UP you stupid girl like I care that your dress was a custom (fill in the blank)...but the story line keeps me flipping the pages and buying the next book.

I have resulted in reading something I am only half interested in and I am not even sure why...it's like a relationship where its not bad but its not that great and so you just keep hanging out and then one day you just have to wake up and stop returning his calls.

This is me right now...the call is to go buy the next one in the series...I want to but I think I have had my fill. The couple I wanted to get together are not and I don't see any sign that this will change given he is the Angel of Death and she is from the White Light...yeah...I am a loser.

So, do I pull open something good again...I haven't finished David Sedaris's latest book although I read a memior of this guy called Mentally Incontinent based on stories from his website mentallyincontinent.com...real funny guy.

Ok so to sum up my YA insanity here is what I will suggest...the Wicked Strange faery stories are good. The Vampire Diaries are good and I find it interesting that they were written in 1991...I am too old or poor to appreciate the Blue Blood novels although I have a feeling I will go buy the last one for my trip to New York this weekend.

Oh and sister T did buy the New Moon tickets so that we can see the flick while in the Big Apple...CANNOT WAIT!

E

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

NYC

We are heading to the big city this weekend. This will be a girls trip...me, my mom, T and Bee. This will be a classic getaway and knowing all of us, well, I am sure there will be interesting tales to tell.

We love to eat eat eat and so that has been our top priority...where to eat. We have all been on multiple occassions... One of my best friends (Rina) lived there for many years in our early 20's. I have grand memories of being thrown out of cabs, bars, passing out after being in a hot tub in the Hamptons bc it was 101 outside and 200 degrees in the tub (but the boy in there was cute). I remember seeing things like the stature of Liberty and Ground Zero but as I hung my head out the window half trying not to vomit while Rina pointed over my shoulder...in a vain attempt to for once have me actually see something "NYC".

So, this trip will be very different in many ways and I cannot wait. We have booked a show and already are sifting through multiple choices for dining...me trying to remember which places I have already been to and which not. "Yes, Baboo is delicious but no we need to go somewhere else or yeah I think I ate there but I only remember the margaritas..."

But T called me the other night...she was frantic. "E, we have to see New Moon." I agreeded and with in minutes we had tickets to see it over the weekend...our weekend in NYC. She is right, regardless of all there is to see and do we have our priorities and the viewing of New Moon is just too important to ignore.

E

Monday, November 16, 2009

Tooth Fairy Nightmare

Frangelica Tooth fairy Extraordinaire


Bee lost her first big front tooth. She didn’t so much as lose it as she twisted it, turned it and yanked on it for about one half an hour in our bathroom only to emerge a bloody mess with a huge tooth in hand and a beaming smile.

She placed her tooth under her bed and went to sleep with out fuss…you see Beatrice has been slow to lose any teeth this being her third. She was very excited about the prospect of the tooth fairy paying a visit.

We have a spotted history as being the tooth fairies. We have written IOU’s and just plain forgot explaining the kids that she must have had a crazy busy night and ultimately came the next night.

It was 1am and myhusand bolted from the bed shouting “tooth fairy”. “Oh, thank God!” We remembered. He grabbed some money from my purse and soon came walking down the hall laughing.

“Bee wrote a note to the tooth fairy.” “Read it!”

Dear Tooth fairy,

I want to know your name. Please tell me. I will keep it a secret because I know you are famous and you don’t want anyone to know. You are my best friend.

Love Beatrice


It was so sweet. I shot out of bed and found a piece of Nordstrom bag. It was almost transparent. The perfect fairy paper. I tore apiece off and burnt the edges for effect. I wrote in an unrecognizable script.

Dearest Beatrice,

My name is Frangelica. Please do not tell ANYONE. I love you very much.

Tootles- F

We slid it under her pillow.

She was beside herself with excitement when she woke up. Shouting the tooth fairies name to everyone in our family. She tucked the note into her backpack and went off to school.

She came home and immediately told me how everyone thought the tooth fairy was me. I was torn. She is almost 8. I could be a liar or this could be the time, the age where at least the tooth fairy could be outted. I asked her what did she think. She looked at the note and at me and sadly shook her head saying it was I. I looked at her and said that yes, it was me.

I don’t know what I expected but it certainly was not was transpired. She started crying hysterically and ran from her room tossing the paper note onto her dresser. We could not find her and finally after some threats we discovered her in the vanity below the sink in the downstairs bathroom. You wouldn’t even know someone was in there if it were not for her tiny voice shouting out us from behind the wooden doors. “You both lied to me! You tricked me!” “How can I ever trust you again she my own parents trick me…how can I believe anything you say is true.”

My husband and I stood there staring at the vanity door. “What?” Is this what we have to look forward to in five more years? A teenage daughter locking herself in cubbies and calling us liars…well, if my teen years offered any insight then well, yes!

We did all we could to try to talk with her. We tried to explain that the magic is in the heart the belief. She finally crawled out and up into my arms. I carried her to the living room and we sat on the sofa while she cried and cried. Her heart truly broken. Her first real break-up…it was heart wrenching to witness. Suddenly, Joe is there, he is feeling sad. He said he just learned one month ago from my husband about the tooth fairy “and to be honest he wasn’t really over it either and wished he didn’t know.”

Joe started to say something to Bee, all I heard was the word Christmas. I saw black…oh know, the tooth fairy was one thing but killing Santa off well, I would be a different kind of liar, a thief of her innocence and really what is the point of ever telling her about no Santa? And I wasn’t even sure if Joe knew the truth…

My head snapped up at the word last Christmas, I looked at Joe, our eyes met. I was covered in Beatrice. I only had a hand free. I don’t know what happened, I freaked out, I flicked him the bird. My poor 9 year old, he was so startled as I laughed at the realization of my new redneck low. I mouthed sorry and then opted for the finger across the neck signal and some pig Latin “icsnay on the ismasca”.

I was traumatized. Joe was traumatized…the good news is I don’t think he knew what it meant and later he told me that he was only going to reinforce Santa and the magic there bc of course he is real!

Oh thank goodness…we preserved Santa for the season.

Beatrice is still sad, her heart a bit broken, her faith in her parents jilted for the first of many times to come. It was a scary flash into the future…maybe I should tell her now that we are not perfect. Maybe I tell her now that we are sure to disappoint and make her hate us for many unpredictable reasons. But I won’t…I will just ride it out, try to be the "perfect parent" but just in case...I will practice many conversations facing a wooden door.

Happy Monday-E

Friday, November 13, 2009

Grandpap Died on Thursday

Grandpap Died on Thursday

Grandpap died on Thursday. Not one of us was told.
My husband heard the message, although it was two days old.

The woman on the line, a mean spirited wench,
left a message, saying that
for more information about him dying, call her back.

You have to understand that Grandpap was never around
The last visit to his daughter, was ten years ago, to see my husband’s home town.

He stayed for an entire month that Spring, a month at my mother in laws,
He smoked her cigarettes, asking why she never called.

He slept all day and snored all night and took over their TV
then one day she woke up, to discover that Grandpap went missing.

They woke up that morning for work and looked all about
he was not found on the pull-out or even a nearby couch.

The last time they had heard from him was early that evening before
when he took his cane and banged on the pipes beneath their bedroom floor.

They searched the source of the noise and it lead to where Grandpap still slept,
And there he was found, found seated on their toilet, face down, with the lit cigarette.

He left soon after and while his Cadillac pulled away, the whole family stood waving and not a tear was shed, for this would be his final visit and now we would learn he was dead.

We got the news on Sunday, my husband made the inquiring call
only to learn, in fact, that he wasn’t still dying, after all.

Yes, he was dead, as the son of the wench would tell, with a southern twang that rang out,
“He died on Thursday, man, hows come you just findn out?”

Grandpap loved his women, three to be exact, but the only one that mattered, the first, the one who raised mom in law had already left our earth.

The second loved another but the ‘nother was not a man and this last one was just evil and lived with him and her forty year old son, a son from another man.

So, today mom in law shed a final tear of sadness for what she never had, the man that some of the lucky, truly love to call a dad.

No, we are not going to the funeral, not my husband or mom in law,
it wasn’t possible anyway,
since Grandpap died on Thursday he was buried yesterday.


Happy Friday the 13th- E

Thursday, November 12, 2009

New Moon Mania

The countdown is unbearable. I have picked up the book AGAIN so that I can be sure I have every word memorized when I see the movie. I even took this quiz online to see if I was an addict...I got ALL the answers correct! This is sad...I am having an issue...if someone was trying to figure out my password they would think it to be people.com. I cannot get enough.

I have decided that I will indulge myself until I have viewed the movie three times, once with T, once with Margo and once with maybe, my husband. I have no words to describe my own personal hysteria. I really could be this guys mother and yet, I want to have hot crazy sex with him. I am very very disturbed with myself.

Oh well, two more weeks and then the books are going to be shipped from my home yet again. I have already given away two sets of the series and some paperbacks. I wish I had not been on the vacation in Florida in May where Eclipse was just there, waiting to be re- read. Once that opened...it was like going back with an old boyfriend...secretly I hated it yet, loved it too much to put down all along knowing it was coming to an inevitable end.

At least I have the YA fairy books that I have been reading lately...oh and the Blue Blood series...I look in the mirror and convince myself that I am doing this so that I will know (and so will you) what our daughters are or will be reading...and let me tell you...it's pretty heady stuff...I mean if there can be a threesome on a network TV show (Gossip Girl) then what else could be hidden in the pages of these not so young adult novels????

Well, for me, these YA novels are a new unlimited, delicious, life line of romance and I think it is just the sweetest little discovery since the orgasm.

E